英語小笑話帶翻譯 優選25則

【導語】

英語小笑話帶翻譯 優選25則 由本站會員“zycjh”整理投稿精心推薦，小編希望對你的學習工作能帶來參考借鑑作用。

【目錄】

篇1：英語小笑話帶翻譯篇2：英語小笑話帶翻譯篇3：英語小笑話帶翻譯篇4：英語小笑話帶翻譯篇5：英語小笑話帶翻譯篇6：英語小笑話帶翻譯篇7：英語小笑話帶翻譯篇8：英語小笑話帶翻譯篇9：英語小笑話帶翻譯篇10：英語小笑話帶翻譯

【正文】

篇1：英語小笑話帶翻譯

1。 Dad: Tom， please tell me， which month has 28 days?

Tom: Every month。

爸爸：告訴我湯姆，哪個月有28天呢？ 湯姆：每個月都有啊！

2。Boy: Is this seat empty?

Girl: Yes， and this one will be if you sit down。

男孩：這個座位是空的麼？

女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。

3。 Boy: "I'd like to call you。 What's your number?"

girl: "It's in the phone book。" Boy: "But I don't know your name。" girl: "That's in the phone book too。"

男：我想給你打電話。你的電話號碼是多少？女：在電話本上呢。男：可是我不明白你的名字呀。女：也在電話本上呢。

4。 Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year。

Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes， but I can't say in which。

手相大師：你手上的生命線顯示出你還有一年將會死去。

顧客：天哪，一年後？手相大師：是的，可是我不能說是哪一年。

5。 A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time。 Coming up beside her， he said， "Pull over!" "No，" she replied， "a pair of socks!"

巡警發現一名婦女邊開車邊織毛衣，便開車上前，說："靠邊停車(套頭衫)！" "不，" 她回答，"是一雙襪子！"

6。 “Tom， what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen。

"He's crying。" "Oh， nothing， Mum，" replied Tom。 "I'm eating my cake。

He is crying because I won't give him any。" "But has he finished his own cake?" "Yes。" said Tom。 "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that。"

"湯姆，你弟弟怎樣了？" 媽媽在廚房裏問。"他在哭。" "沒事兒，媽媽，" 湯姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因爲我 不給他吃。" "他已經吃完自我的了麼？" "是的。" "我幫他吃完時，他也哭了。"

7。 A husband， proving to his wife that women talk more than men， showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day， whereas women use 30000 words a day。 She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say。 He said， "What?"

丈夫給妻子看了一項調查結果，爲了向她證明女人比男人囉嗦。研究證明男人平均每一天使用15000個字，而女人每一天使用 30000個。 妻子想了一會兒說，女人每一天說的字數是男人的兩倍，因爲她們必須重複已經說 過的話。 他問："什麼？"

8。 Boy: Hi， didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice?

Girl: Must've been once。 I never make the same mistake twice。

男孩：嗨，我們之前是不是約會過，是一次還是兩次，我忘記了。

女孩：應當僅有一次吧，我從不犯兩次同樣的錯誤。

篇2：英語小笑話帶翻譯

1。ass and man[由本站網友投稿]

驢和買驢的人

A man wanted to buy an ass。 He went to the market， and saw a likely one。 But he wanted to

test him first。 So he took the ass home， and put him into the stable with the other asses。

The new ass looked around， and immediately went to choose a place next to the laziest ass in

the stable。 When the man saw this he put a halter on the ass at once， and gave him back to

his owner。 The owner felt quite surprised。 He asked the man， "Why are you back so soon? Have

you tested him already?" "I don't want to test him any more，" replied the man， "From the

panion he chose for himself， I could see what sort of animal he is。"

中文：一個買主到市場上去買驢，他看中一頭外表不錯的驢，可是他想要牽走試一試。他把驢牽回家，放

在自我其他的驢之間，這驢四處看看，立即走向一頭好吃懶做的驢旁邊。於是，買驢的人立刻給那頭驢套

上轡頭，牽去還給驢的賣主。賣主感到很奇怪，他問買主：“你怎樣這麼快就回來了?”買主說：“不必

再試了，從他所選擇什麼樣的朋友來看，我已經明白他是什麼樣了。”

2。A mother mouse

老鼠的第二語言也重要

A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she

spotted a cat crouched behind a bush。 She watched the cat， and

the cat watched the mice。

Mother mouse barked fiercely， "Woof， woof， woof!" The cat

was so terrified that it ran for it's life。

Mother mouse turned to her babies and said， "Now， do you

understand the value of a second language?"

一隻母老鼠帶着孩子出來散步，突然她看見一隻貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽。

母老鼠向着貓叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，貓聽了十分害怕，拼命跑走了。

母老鼠回過頭洋洋自得的對孩子說：“此刻你明白外語的重要性了吧。”

3。The Looney Bin

瘋人院

Late one night at the insane asylum (瘋人院)one inmate shouted， "I am Napoleon!"

Another one said， "How do you know?"

The first inmate said， "God told me!"

Just then， a voice from another room shouted， "I did not!"

一天晚上，在瘋人院裏，一個病人說："我是拿破崙!"另一個說："你怎樣明白?"第一個人說："上帝對

我說的!"一會兒，一個聲音從另一個房間傳來："我沒說!"

Notes:

(1)Looney (俚語)瘋子

(2)inmate(n。同住者，同室者(特指在醫院、監獄))

(3)insane asylum (瘋人院)

篇3：英語小笑話帶翻譯

後面還有多篇英語小笑話帶翻譯！

小妹妹

Nurse: Don't you like your new baby sister， Johnnie?

保育員：約翰尼，你難道不喜歡你的小妹妹嗎?

Johnnie: She's all right， but I wish she had been a boy。 Willie Smith had got a new sister， and now he'll think I'm trying to copy him。

約翰尼：那倒不是。她要是個男孩就好了。威利有了一個新生的小妹妹，此刻他該認爲我又在學他的樣貌了。

我教教師

Mother asked her little boy， "Darling， what did the teacher teach you today?"

母親問她年幼的兒子：“寶貝，今日教師教了你些什麼?”

"Nothing， Mum，" answered the son proundly， "instead， she asked me how much one plus two was， and I told her three。"

兒子驕傲地說：“什麼都沒教，媽媽。她反倒問我一加二等於幾，我告訴她等於三。”

篇4：英語小笑話帶翻譯

A private didn't notice a young lieutenant and failed to salute him。 The lieutenant said sternly， "You did not salute me。 For this you must immediately salute one hundred times。"

Just then the general came up。 When he saw the poor private about to begin， he exclaimed， "What's all this?"

The lieutenant explained， "This ignoramus(無知的人) failed to salute me。 I'm making his salute one hundred times as a punishment。”

"Quite right，" replied the general smiling， "But do not forget， sir， that upon each occasion you are to salute return。"

有個士兵沒有注意到一個年輕的陸軍中尉，沒有向他敬禮。中尉很嚴厲地對那個士兵說：“你沒有向我敬禮，所以你要立刻敬100個禮。”

這時候將軍過來了。他看到那個可憐的士兵就要開始敬禮時，就大聲問道：“這是怎樣啦?”

中尉解釋說：“這個蠢貨沒有向我敬禮，我就罰他立刻向我敬一百個禮。”

將軍笑着說：“完全正確。可是，老弟，別忘了他向你每敬一個禮，你都要回禮的啊!”

篇5：英語小笑話帶翻譯

She was so excited and anxious to tell him。 She said， "I've bought two presents for your birthday， dear。 I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day。 One present is a mat to put in front of my dressing table。 Another one is a bronze statuette(小雕像) for the drawing room mantelpiece。" And then she added: "Now me?"

Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties， so that we may exchange presents with each other。"

有個女人給她的丈夫買了生日禮物。

她很激動，並且急於要告訴她的丈夫。她說：“親愛的，我買了兩樣東西給你做生日禮物。我此刻就要告訴你，因爲我等不得到那一天才說。一件禮物是一個地墊，能夠放在我的梳妝檯前。另一件是一個青銅的小雕像，能夠放在客廳的壁爐架上”她還說：“好啦，你準備給我買什麼呢?”

她的丈夫想了一會就說：“我最好是給你買一個刮鬍刀和幾條領帶。這樣我們就能夠互相交換禮物了。”

篇6：英語小笑話帶翻譯

While the doctor was looking over the man， his wife kept fussing(煩躁，發牢騷) andjabbering(快而含糊地說) all the time。 The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet。" Then he left some sleeping pills。

The man's wife asked， "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied， "No， they are not for him。 They are for you。 You need them。"

有個人生病了。他的妻子請了一位醫生來給他治病。

醫生在給他治療的時候，他的妻子一向大驚小怪，神神叨叨地緊張不安。醫生對她說：“你的丈夫必須絕對休息和堅持安靜。” 然後他就留下了一些。

她問醫生：“什麼時候給我丈夫吃這些藥呀!”醫生回答說：“不用，這些藥不是給他吃的，是給你吃的，你需要。”

篇7：英語小笑話帶翻譯

frog 青蛙

Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said， "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket。" He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich。 He looked puzzled for a second， thought deeply， and said， "That's funny。 I distinctly remember eating my lunch。"

教師正在給學生上生物課：“此刻，我將要給你們看我袋子裏的這隻青蛙。”之後，他把手伸進口袋，卻拿出了一份雞肉三文治。教師滿臉困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一會兒，說道：“真奇怪。我明明記得我已經把午飯吃掉了。”

相親 Blind Date

After being with her all evening， the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date。 Earlier， he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave。When he returned to the table， he lowered his eyes， put on a grim expression and said， "I have some bad news。 My grandfather just died。""Thank heavens，" his date replied。 "If yours hadn't， mine would have had to!"

和盲約對象呆了一晚上後，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開了。當他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說：“有個不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛去世了。”“謝天謝地！”他的約會對象說，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了！”

Lawyer and Engineer

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean。 The lawyer said， "I'm here because my house burned down， and the insurance pany paid for everything。"

"That's quite a coincidence，" said the engineer。 "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood， and my insurance pany also paid for everything。"

The lawyer looked somewhat confused。 "How do you start a flood?" he asked。

一個律師與一個工程師在加勒比海邊釣魚。律師說：“我到那裏是因爲我的房子被大火燒了，保險公司賠償了我所有的損失。”

“這太巧了，”工程師說，“我是因爲房子被洪水沖垮了，保險公司也賠償了所有的損失。”

律師看起來有些困惑，“你是怎樣引起洪水的？”他不解的問。

篇8：英語小笑話帶翻譯

The Use of a Handsaw

At the mall， my wife and I picked up some hardware items， including a handsaw。 We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse。

Let's try it。 " my wife suggested。 Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw， I followed her inside。

Scanning the menu， my wife told the waitress， " I' 11 have chopped sirloin， please。

The waitress turned to me， eyed my saw and mented， "And I see that。 you， sir， have e for our T-bone special。

在集市上，我和妻子買了一些五金用品，包括一個手鋸。我們回到汽車時剛好走過一家牛排店。 “我們嚐嚐吧，”我妻子提議說。儘管我覺得拿着鋸有點傻乎乎的，但還是隨她走了進去。 我妻子掃視了一下菜單對女招待說：“請給我來一份炒牛腰片。” 女招待轉向我，看了看我的鋸，說道：“我能看出，先生，你是來吃我們的T形骨特色菜的。”

A Woman's answer

A husband said to his wife， " Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?"

"Well，" his wife answered at once。" The reason is very simple。 God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them。"

一位丈夫對他的妻子說：“爲什麼上帝把婦女創造得如此美麗卻又愚蠢呢？” “噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，“原因很簡單。上帝使我們如此美麗，男人才會愛我們。上帝使我們如此愚蠢，我們纔會嫁給他們。”

Only One Eye to Settle On

The girl found the go-between and said， "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true。 Why didn't you tell me this before ?"

"I have told you。 " said the go-between with justice on his side， When you met first， I told you that he settled on you with one eye。

姑娘找到媒人，說：“你欺騙了我。他的一隻眼是假眼，你以前爲什麼不告訴我？” “怎樣沒告訴你？”媒人也不甘示弱，“你們第一回見面後，我就說，他一眼就看中你了。”

You May Select能夠選擇

The husband plained that his wife always cooked the same dish。

One day， the husband got home and asked his wife， "My dear， what will we eat today?"

The wife said， "You may select the dish today。"

The husband was very glad and asked， "Which dishes are there today?"

"Cabbage。"

"The others?"

"None。"

"Then how to select?"

"Eat or not eat!" the wife said。

丈夫抱怨妻子總是做同樣的一種菜。

一天，丈夫回到家，問妻子：“親愛的，今日我們吃啥菜？”

妻子回答：“今日你能夠選擇。” 丈夫感到十分高興，又問：“都有哪些菜呢？”

“炒白菜。”

“還有呢？”

“沒了。”

“那你要我怎樣選呢？”

“吃還是不吃！”妻子一本正經地說道。

Two roaches 兩隻蟑螂

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant。"I was in that new restaurant across the street，" said one。 "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless， and the floors are gleaming white。 There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines。""Please，" said the other roach frowning。 "Not while I'm eating!"

兩隻蟑螂正在一條小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着，其中的一隻談起了它在一家新開張的餐館裏的經歷。“那時我在街對面的那家新餐館裏，”它說。“那裏太乾淨了！廚房沒有一點污漬，地面閃着白光。任何地方都沒有垃圾。那裏是如此乾淨，整個地方都在發光。”“請不要在我吃東西的時候說這個好嗎？”另一隻蟑螂不悅地說。

篇9：英語小笑話帶翻譯

是哪兩個詞？

What Are The Two Words？A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter．“My dear，” said the old lady，“I wish you would do something for me．I wish you would promise me never to use two words．One is‘lousy’and the other is‘swell’．Would you promise me that？ “Why，sure，Granny，”said the girl．“What are the two words？”

一個十分高貴的老夫人有幾句話要對她的孫女說。“我親愛的，”老夫人說：“我期望你能幫我一個忙。我要你答應永遠不要用兩個詞。一個是‘厭惡的’，另一個是‘極好的’。你能答應我嗎？” “噢，當然，奶奶。”女孩說：“是哪兩個詞？”

兩顆番茄

he first tomato has no answer， the second tomato asked again。 The tomato has no answer， so the second tomato asked again。 The first tomato finally turned slowly， said: "we are not tomatoes? We can talk?"

兩顆番茄去逛街，第一顆番茄突然走得很快，第二顆番茄就問：“我們要去哪裏？” 第一顆番茄沒有回答，第二顆番茄又問了一次。 第一顆番茄還沒回答，所以第二顆番茄又問了一次。 第一顆番茄最終慢慢轉頭說：“我們不是番茄嗎？我們會說話嗎？”

相同的職責

The Same DutiesA retired four-star general ran into his former orderly， also retired， in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to e work for him as his valet。 "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army，" the general said。 "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast。" Next morning promptly at eight o'clock， the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom， pulled open the drapes， gave the general a gentle shake， strode around the other side of the bed， spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said， "OK， sweetheart， it's back to the village for you。"

相同的職責一個退休的四星級將軍在曼哈頓的一個酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤務兵，勤務兵也退休在家。這位將軍花了一整個晚上的時光來說服他回來做他的貼身隨從。“你的職責與在軍隊時完全一樣，”將軍說，“這沒什麼，你很快就會再次理解它的。” 第二天早晨八點鐘時，前勤務兵迅速地進到前將軍的臥室，拉開窗簾，輕輕地搖了搖將軍，然後大步走到牀的另一側，在他僱主的妻子屁股上拍了一下，說道：“好了，甜心，你該回到村莊去了。”

你爺爺

A well dressed young man demanded as soon as he entered the restaurant:"Serve me， quick! Give me your best。 I don't care the price。"Not like the way he talked， the waiter said to him: "Hey Buddy， it doesn't matter you have a lot of money。 You are still son of somebody， and grandson of somebody else。"The young man raged: "Dare you! Tell me， who wants me to be his grandson?"The waiter replied with ease: "Nobody。 Just your grandfather。"

一位衣冠楚楚的年青人一進飯店就大聲嚷嚷：“喂，有什麼好菜儘管端上來，錢多少我不在乎。”服務員聽了很不是滋味：“哥兒們，錢多頂個屁，你不照樣得做別人的兒子，就是有人要你做孫子你也不敢不做！”年青人勃然大怒：“誰敢佔老子的便宜？你說，是誰不要命了，膽敢要老子做他的孫子？”服務員慢條斯理地答道：“你爺爺！”

她要買什麼

A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer。 No， ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting soon。Horrified， the manager came runningover to the customer and said， Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week。 Then the manager drew the clerk aside: Never， never， never say we are out of anything say we've got it on order and it's ing。Now what was it she wanted? Rain， said the clerk。

一個商店經理聽見一個店員對顧客說：不，夫人，這會兒沒有，一時半會兒看來也不會有。經理驚恐萬分地跑到顧客跟前說：當然，立刻就會有的。我們上週訂了貨。然後經理把店員拉到一邊：千萬，千萬，千萬不要說我們沒有什麼，說我們已經訂了貨，貨立刻就到。此刻你說她要買什麼？ 雨，店員說。

此刻幾點了

The two boys were camping in the backyard。 When they couldn't figure out what time it was， the first boy said to the second， "Start singing very loud。"

"How will that help?" said the second boy。

"Just do it，" insisted the first。

Both boys broke into song， singing at the top of their lungs。 Moments later， a neighbor threw open her window and shouted， "Keep it down! Don't you know it's three o'clock in the morning?"

兩個男孩子在後院露營，他們不明白到了晚上幾點鐘。於是，一個男孩對另外一個說：“我們開始大聲唱歌就行了。”

“那就會明白時光嗎？”第二個男孩問。

“只管唱吧。”第一個堅持道。

兩個孩子開始大聲唱歌，過了一會兒，一個鄰居打開窗戶喊道：“小聲點！你們不明白此刻是凌晨三點嗎？”

篇10：英語小笑話帶翻譯

What Was It She Wanted？

A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer．“No，ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon．” Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，“Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week．” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：“Never， never， never say we are out of anything—say we've got it on order and it's ing． Now whatwas it she wanted？” “Rain．” said the clerk．

一個商店經理聽見一個店員對顧客說：“不，夫人，這會兒沒有，一時半會兒看來也不會有。”經理驚恐萬分地跑到顧客跟前說：“當然，立刻就會有的。我們上週訂了貨。”然後經理把店員拉到一邊：“千萬，千萬，千萬不要說我們沒有什麼——說我們已經訂了貨，貨立刻就到。此刻你說她要買什麼？” “雨，”店員說。

A preacher is buying a parrot 傳教士買鸚鵡

A preacher is buying a parrot

Are you sure it doesnt scream， yell， or swear? asked the preacher。

Oh absolutely。 Its a religious parrot， the storekeeper assures him。

Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one， he recites the lords prayer， and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm。

Wonderful! says the preacher， but what happens if you pull both strings?

I fall off my perch， you stupid fool! screeched the parrot。

一個傳教士在買鸚鵡

“你確信它不會尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎？”傳教士問。

“哦，絕對不會。它是一隻虔誠的鸚鵡。”店主保證說。

“你看見它腿上的這些細繩了嗎？當你拉動右面的這根，它會背誦天主經，當你拉動左面的那根，它會背誦讚美詩”

“太棒了！”傳教士說，“可是如果我同時拉動兩條繩子，會發生什麼呢？”

“我會從樹幹上掉下去的，你這個笨蛋！”鸚鵡尖聲說道。

How can I get into heaven 我怎樣才能上天堂

"If I sold my house and my car， had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor， would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class。

"No!" the children all answered。

"If I cleaned the church everyday， mowed the yard， and kept everything neat and tidy， would I get into heaven?"

Again， the answer was， "No!"

"Well， " I continued， "then how can I get into heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out， "You gotta be dead!"

“如果我把房子和車賣了，在車庫舉行義賣， 並把所有的錢給窮人，我能進天堂嗎？”我問主日學校的孩子。

孩子們齊聲回答：“不能！”

“那如果我每一天都打掃教堂，給院子的草坪割草，並且把東西都收拾得乾淨整潔，我會上天堂嗎？”

回答還是：“不能！”“好吧， ”我繼續問， “那我要怎樣才能昇天堂呢？”

一個五歲的男孩兒叫道：“你得死了才行！”

I Want Her to go Nuts

Mrs。 Flinders decided to have her portrait painted。 She told the artist， "Paint me with diamond earrings， a diamond necklace， emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant。"

"But you're not wearing any of those things。"

"I know，" said Mrs。 Flinders。" It's in case I should die before my husband。 I'm sure he'd remarry right away， and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry。"

福林德斯夫人決定讓人給她畫肖像。她告訴那位肖像畫家說：“畫我帶着鑽石耳環、鑽石項鍊、祖母綠手鐲，還有紅寶石垂飾。”

“但你此刻沒帶這其中的任何一樣飾品。”

“我明白。”福林德斯夫人說，“萬一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他會立刻再婚。我要讓那個女人爲尋找這些珠寶而發瘋。”

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