英語幽默小故事多篇
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英語幽默小故事1
Even My Driver Can Answer that Question
A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give aseries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For thetask, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highlytechnical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to theeconomist, “You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I coulddeliver it myself.” The economist found this idea intriguing and decided toswitch places with him at his next lecture.
The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some onein the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had noidea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, andthen replied, “That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it.”
甚至我的司機都能回答那個問題
一位著名的博弈論專家一獲得克拉克獎便開始在東北部各個知名大學展開一系列講座。爲了完成這項任務,他租了一輛車並僱了一名司機載着他到處趕場。沒有別的事可做的司機就坐在課堂裏聽專家那科技含量頗高的講座。幾場講座下來,司機對這位經濟學家說:“我聽了這麼多次你的講座,我覺得我自己也能講了。”經濟學家覺得這個想法很有趣,於是決定下次作講座時他們兩個互換位置。
司機完美無瑕地完成了演講。可是當講座結束後,聽衆中有人問了他一個技術含量相當高的問題,他不知如何開口回答。司機沉思了一會,回答道:“這個問題太簡單了,連我的司機都能回答。”
英語幽默小故事2
The Less You Know, the More Money You Make
Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as businessexecutives.
Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, andTime=Money, we have
Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless ofthe Work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.
知識越少掙錢越多
定理:工程師和科學家永遠應當比經濟專家掙錢少。
下面是對該定理的一個嚴格的數學證明:
假設一:知識就是力量(Power)。
假設二:時間就是金錢。
每個工程師都知道:功率(Power)= 。既然知識=力量,時間=金錢,我們有:知識= 。求解金錢表達式,我們得到:金錢= 。
因此,當知識趨於零時,無論你做了多少功,金錢趨於無窮大。
結論:知識越少,你掙得的金錢就越多。
英語幽默小故事3
They Should Be Playing at Night
A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among thethree. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he iswith is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patiencefor the blind golfers. The priest goes, “Oh no, all my life I've preached forall to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about theblind!” The therapist says, “I've been trained my whole life to help others andhere I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!” The economist says, “Ohno! They should be playing at night.”
他們本該在晚上打球
神父、心理學家和經濟學家三人結伴打高爾夫。前面的一組打球進度極其緩慢,這讓三人大爲惱火。他們開始抱怨,前面那組中的一人聽到抱怨聲後朝他們走了過來。他自我介紹說是前面那組球手們的助手,因爲那組球手都是盲人。助手感謝他們三位耐心等待。神父聽後忙說:“哦,不會吧?我一輩子都在祈禱同胞們過上更美好的生活,而我卻在這裏抱怨這些盲人!”心理學家也趕緊說:“我一生的信條是幫助別人,可是我卻在這裏抱怨這些盲人,我真慚愧!”這時只聽經濟學家說:“哦,別這樣!他們本該在晚上打球的。”
英語幽默小故事4
A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controllertrying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354,“said thecontroller,“contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request wasrepeated several times with no reply from the lly,in exasperation thecontroller raised his voice.”Flight 354,Simon says contact Kansas City Center onfrequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and promptcompliance.
一名飛行員在中西部上空聽到地面指揮塔的指揮員在呼叫一民航調整其正常接收頻率。“354航班,”指揮塔在呼叫,“請與堪薩斯市中心135.5頻率聯繫。”這一指令重複了幾次之後,竟沒得到任何迴音。最後,指揮塔的指揮員顯然是被激怒了,他大聲地銳:”354航班,西蒙說速與135.5預率聯繫。”這一聲顯然奏效,只聽對方慌忙地做了回答並迅速服從了指揮。”
英語幽默小故事5
Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground
An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when theysee a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pickup the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.
Why not?
If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
別撿地上的錢
一位經濟學教授和一名學生正在大街上行走,這時他們看到前面的人行道上躺着一張20美元面值的鈔票。學生走過去準備撿,教授制止了他,告訴他別自尋煩惱。
“爲什麼不撿?”
“假如那是一張真20美元鈔票的話,早就有人撿走了。”
“該發明的都已經被髮明出來了。”
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