英語幽默小故事【通用多篇】

英語幽默故事10. 篇一

Recently engaged, I asked my aunt, who has been married to Uncle Bob for 34 years, what she thought was the key to the success of their long union. She said, “ Try not to argue, and we respect each other’s privacy.”

At this point Uncle Bob interrupted. “ She works days and I work nights,” he said.

英語幽默故事3. 篇二

The miserly millionaire called a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”

The family respected his wishes. After his death, the millionaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”

英語幽默小故事3：Two Soldiers 篇三

irstone‘snamewasGeorge,andthesecondone‘gesaid,“haveyougotapieceofpaperandanenvelope,Bill?”

Billsaid,“Yes,Ihave,”andhegavethemtohim.

ThenGeorgesaid,“NowIhaven‘tgotapen.”Billgavehimhis,heputitintheenvelopeandsaid,“haveyougotastamp,Bill?”Billgavehimone.

ThenBillgotupandwenttothedoor,soGeorgesaidtohim,“Areyougoingout?”

BillSaid,“Yes,Iam,”andheopenedthedoor.

Georgesaid,“Pleaseputmyletterintheboxintheoffice,and.。.”Hestopped.

“Whatdoyouwantnow?”Billsaidtohim.

Georgelookedattheenvelopeofhisletterandanswered,“What‘syourgirl-friend‘saddress?”

幽默故事翻譯：

軍營裏有二名士兵，一個叫喬治，一個叫比爾。喬治問：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎？”

比爾說：“有。”然後把信紙和信封給了喬治。

喬治又說：“我還沒有筆呢。”比爾又把自己的筆給了他。喬治開始寫信。寫完後把信放進信封裏，又問：“比爾，你有郵票嗎？”比爾給了他一張。

這時比爾站起來，向門口走去。喬治問：“你要出去嗎？”

比爾說：“是的。”隨即打開了門。

喬治說：“請幫我把這封信投進辦公室的信箱裏，還有。.。”他停住了。

“你還要什麼？”比爾問。

喬治看着信封說：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

英語幽默小故事9：Best Reward 篇四

fficeraskedhowhecouldrewardhim.

“Thebestway,sir,”saidthedeckhand,“eotherfellowsknewI‘dpulledyouout,they‘dchuckmein.”

幽默故事翻譯：最好的獎賞

一名海軍軍官從甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。這位軍官問如何才能酬謝他。

“最好的辦法，長官，”這名水手說，“是別聲張這事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他們會把我扔下去的。”

英語幽默小故事8：Wood Fire 篇五

Onewomanlecturedherbestfriendonthenatureofthemaleanimal.“Husbandsarelikewoodfires;theygooutifleftunattened.”

“Doesthatmean,”askedtheother,“thattheymakeashesofthemselves?”

幽默故事翻譯：森林之火

一名婦女向她最好的朋友大談雄性動物的特性：“丈夫們就像是森林裏的火，一不注意，他們就會燃燒起來。”

“那是不是意味着，”另一個問道，“他們將自己燒成灰燼？”

英語幽默故事9. 篇六

During my first year at Naval Postgraduate School, I sat chatting one day with some classmates about the program’s difficulties. A professor overheard us and tried to allay our fears. “Don’t worry too much about grades,” he explained. “ When you think you know everything, they give you a Bachelor’s degree. Then when you realize that you don’t know anything, they give you a Master’s, and when you find out that you don’t know anything, but neither does anyone else” he continued,” they give you a doctorate.”

英語幽默故事7. 篇七

One professor solemnly addressed the class the day after a big assignment had been due. “ Many of you know me,” he intoned. “And many of you have met my dog, Gus. Obviously, one of you has not.”

“ I apologize to whoever slipped a term paper under my office door,” he continued. “ My dog ate your homework.”

英語幽默小故事14：Gardening Gloves 篇八

SeveralweeksafteroursonbeganhisfreshmanyearatAlmaCollegeinMichigan,carefultocallhimafewdaysinadvanceto“warn”wearrivedatthedorm,however,Iwastakenabackbythedisarrayofhisroom.“Forgotwewerecoming,didn‘tyou?”Iteased.

“Areyoukidding?”hereplied,“WhyelsewouldIhavebotheredtoclean?”

幽默故事翻譯：提醒

我們的兒子是密歇根州阿爾馬大學的新生，開學幾個星期之後，我和丈夫決定去看看他。我特意提前給他打電話，“提醒”他我們將光臨。但是當我們來到宿舍時，他的房間凌亂不堪，我非常吃驚。“忘了我們要來，是吧？”我取笑他。

“開什麼玩笑？“，他回答說，“要不我憑什麼費神打掃？”